Sufiah's story

By Halimahton Yusof ( mother)

• I'm delighted to say that, as reported in the Harian Metro newspaper, Sufiah has now expressed regret for her previous actions and is now undertaking charity work in London instead
• This story is about my daughter Sufiah, her upbringing, and why her life has turned out the way it has
• This is the only place to get the facts about Sufiah and our family
• The recent media coverage has been largely wrong or misleading
• This story isn't about the way Sufiah was taught; my book describes in detail the way I taught Sufiah and my other children

Sufiah in Malaysia

Following the recent stories in the media about my daughter Sufiah, many people have asked us why she has chosen the path she is currently on, and in spite of her considerable talents. Much of what has been printed in the media is simply wrong — there have been many ridiculous and untrue claims such as us not attending her wedding and our old house being kept cold on purpose!

As Sufiah's mother and as a woman who has known and cared for her since the day she was born, I'd like to tell the story of her life as far as I know it. While I can only speculate like everyone else as to why she is now doing what she is doing, I hope that this will give you an idea about what Sufiah was like as a person.

I also hope that other people — especially parents — can learn something from this story, so that they can avoid making the same mistakes.

Overview

Early years (read more)

• Sufiah was just one of five wonderful children, all of whom grew up to be extremely capable
• Sufiah was a very good, well-behaved child, although people sometimes perceived her as being softer than my other children
• Life was difficult in the early years; we had little money or support as we were in a foreign country
• My (now ex-) husband Farooq was not around during these years, and I was practically a single mother
• Our family was very close-knit in the early years, as we all had to work together and support one another
• I tried to give my children a good upbringing, so that they would be able to face the challenges ahead of them

Sufiah, Iskander, Aisha, and Abraham

School (read more)

• Sufiah and my other children did not want to stay at school, as they were already so far ahead that the school did not cater to their needs
• While my children preferred to learn from me at home, I was very hesitant as I knew it would be difficult and I did not have many resources
• Eventually, however, I reluctantly agreed to continue teaching my children at home
• Things seemed to work out well in spite of our difficult circumstances, and my children ended up being many years ahead of their peers

Excerpts from Sufiah's letters to Farooq (before Farooq returned)

Things changed (read more)

• Things changed when my (now ex-) husband Farooq came back to the family
• Initially, everyone was happy when Farooq returned
• But then he insisted that he take over Sufiah and my other children's upbringing, and my kids did not like the change
• Farooq was insensitive and aggressive, and often made the atmosphere at home very tense and oppressive for my children and me
• Farooq had little respect for my opinions or anything I did with the children
• I did not have the strength or means to contend with Farooq, so I tried to compromise by encouraging him to change his ways — but he usually just dismissed anything I said
• I also feared what would happen to my children and me if I tried to leave Farooq
• Occasionally Farooq would promise to change for the better, but he invariably forgot his promise and went back to his old ways within a few months
• Sufiah never said much about her father's behaviour, but she must have bottled up her emotions inside
• Farooq's actions also took a toll on my health and self-esteem
• Farooq focused obsessively on my children's tennis, but because they were already so far ahead academically this had little impact on their studies
• At this point my kids were still doing well in their studies and in tennis, but they were not as happy and Farooq's behaviour was slowly draining their abilities

Sufiah gets accepted to Oxford (read more)

• The focus switched from tennis to exams after a while, and Sufiah was accepted to Oxford University at age 12
• Because of this and the other family achievements, we received a lot of attention from the media
• While I was happy for Sufiah, I worried that she might be too young for university life and that being in the media spotlight might put her under too much pressure
• I voiced my concerns but again was largely ignored